Diari Anak Perantau di Cuti Sem yang Hambar

Assalamualaikum pembuka bicara, eh?

Hmm banyak cerita nak bukak tapi tak terluah kat sini. Haha.

Ok. First, this is gonna be my first entry for 2015...yayyy!! Such an inspiration to write more entries in the future, for such a lazy-to-update-her-blog me. Haha. Hope to create much more memories in this year and I somehow (not officialy yet) getting older in few more months. I supposed to know that reaching 22, my life won't get any easier and eventually becoming older than before. And I hope that maturity will come upon me, stay by my side and make me stronger to live on.

Harap tak lambat sangat la lagi nak wish, "Happy New Year 2015~!!"

New year's resolution: Besides completing past year's incomplete resolutions, I just want to have good life, get better luck in financial source, being a person that can make everyone around me feel my happy energy and worth of being with me. Plus, I just want more time with my mom...and being with her is the moment that I really miss when we're thousand miles apart.

And I hope to get graduated from Bachelor of Marine Science (with honours) study hopefully without any problems in late November this year...(doa kat chek pliss... ^_^)

That's it. Wait...also in search for Future-Perfect-Fit-to-My-Soul person. Teehee. 
Faham kot noh. Sapa2 yang rasa dia nak try test market, boleh datang jumpa ibu saya mintak approval beliau. Eh.


Terasa kot diri makin tua. Sapa kata "age is just a number..."? Memang number pon tapi sedaq laaa seiringan dengan usia anda, datang tanggungjawab yang semakin berat. Tak tipu laa kan, yang time gini ramai yang pakat dok bina masjid...termasuk laa member2 dan sahabat sekolah yang dikenali, tak kurang juga yang tak dikenali. Pakat dok jemput dalam group FB, Whatssap segala...tak jelez pon seriuss...Aku jugak yang single. Eh.

Ok laa cukup la meraban. Aku pada dasarnya baru habis exam final namun pada dasar kegatalan untuk stay di Sabah dan tegar untuk langsung tidak meng"usha" tiket flight tambang murah Air Asia dan sebagainya untuk pulang ke hometown di Kedah telah menimbulkan bibit-bibit penyesalan yang tidak terhingga sebab baru ja seminggu habis exam, bajet bulletproof ala titanium gitu la kan perasaan ni...berkobar-kobar konon nak jadi anak perantau last-last homesick jugak sampai lencun bantal tekup muka sambil nangis. Eh.

To be exact, duit tak berapa cukup nak beli tiket balik. Ye laaa itew pakai ptptn jeww. Satu sem bahagian ptptn tuh bersih dapat pinjam pun hanya 1/2 dari nilai sepatutnya. "1/2 lagi pergi mana?" Tanya pulak dia. Aku pok jgak kang, haih macam tak paham...kan dah lesap bayar yuran awal2 sem tuu....sob sob. T___T

Hmm.

Anyway, ada laa hikmah kan tak balik naik flight shiuu shiuuu tuh... Sekarang ni kalau cakap pasal kapal terbang pon semua pakat paranoid...dok tanya, "Weyh, tak takut ka naik flight tuh?" "Ish..takut laa dok dengaq kapai terebang dok terhempaih sana sini.." etc. Macam depa pulak yang naik flight. Sapa kata aku tak cuak, cuak jugak tapi tuh la orang habaq, kalau nak mati ni mana2 ja...even hang tidoq diam2 pon bole ja mati...bukan sebab naik kapai terebang jaa. Kan? Kan?

Aku tak balik ni bukan la sebab ultimate nya aku takut flight, tapi aku serius tak dak dwet. Lagi satu, cuaca sekarang ni macam tak berapa feasible nak naik flight ditambah paranoia dan stereotype orang sekeliling yang dok takut kapai terebang terhempas segala. Haha. Hampa jangan la dok sebut2 pasai kapai terebang terhempas2 ni...benda tak jadi bole jadi kalo dok sebut2. Orang habaq kata-kata tuh kadang2 boleh menjadi satu doa. Doa hat elok-elok dah laa kan.

Tudia...keluaq utaqhaa aku. Sorry la geng. Gian nak cakap Kedah, dok lama dah kat Sabah nak melepas rindu loghat yang terpendam. Dah la tak balik holiday. Memang patut pon. Haha.

Aktiviti time "the-so-called-holiday" of mine ni...merancang untuk melakukan kerja lapangan dan sampling serta memperbaiki projek tahun akhir iaitu thesis yang telah pun menghantui kebanyakan student universiti tahun akhir tak kira apa jurusan pon. Balik rumah pon gerenti rasa tak tenang sebab tau thesis tak sempurna lagi so ada bagusnya jugak tak balik. Even homesick tu dah tahap gaban, terpaksa jugak abaikan. Haih.

Cuti sem kali ni basically aku merempat, foyer ODEC or fakulti tuh dah memang jadi rumah kedua untuk sepanjang sem ni. Tenang, sunyi...tepi laut...dan ada wifi yang awesome betul lajunya. Itu paling penting. Eh. Ahaaa, berbanding sem2 sebelum ni, sem ni aku dengan jayanya menyewa motosikal hasil duit ptptn yang tersimpan tuh. Feeling ala2 freelancer gitu, ke sana ke mari merempat tak bertempat dengan moto. Tak payah nak risau bas penuh kena diri berhimpit segala atau kena jalan kaki sebab tak dak bas dan segalanya mungkin dengan hanya sebuah motosikal. Sebab tuh la lari bajet. T___T

Ape pon, aku pon dah malas nak meraban kat sini...aku boring tak tau nak merepek apa dah. Saja nak masuk entry sebab rasa macam nak tulis something. Haha.

Kbai. Assalamualaikum.

Nak chewii la skit gambaq sem ni. Tak banyak pon. Sila laa jamu mata.

 

Eh tak de la sikit gambar..banyak la jugak. Habis satu sem 5 aku kumpul dalam satu entry...mana tak banyak. Need no caption. All the memories were there...Ceewah.

*Padahal malas nak type caption tu...hikhok.


#p/s : aku tak balik cuti niii tak dak orang nak rindu ka? Hahaha.

Mixed Emo.

Have you ever feel like sometimes being hit by a car and die is better than to live on? Have you ever feel soulless...cramped inside your heart that you just wanna do nothing but hugging your knees and cry your soul out? Have you ever feel that sadness and darkness along with emptiness filling up your thoughts and mind...affecting every human senses that you possess?  Have you ever know that feeling?

Or you just don't want to care much and still live on like ghoul. Empty, restless, lingering and stuck somewhere unexplained, numb without vivid direction?

Oh oh. Saje nak intro emo...masuk feel. Teehee. 

*Mintak slipper Jepun ke pipi ke Malin? hukhuk...*

Biasa la kan emo time-time tahun akhir pengajian ni. Lagi pulak si Malin ni. Hoho. Tapi kan seriously, I felt that way recently...there's time that I feel like everything is just mocking me... my shadow followed me everywhere but could do nothing to help me and I always be the one that stuck somewhere and yet to come out....Drowning in tears like almost every time I took my shower, restless incomplete feeling in every sleep at night, forgot to eat on time and end up eating junks at 3 am in the morning. Well, that's basically happened to me lately.

Cerita dia bila satu masalah settle, tapi masalah lain beranak pinak macam virus. Agaknya kalau manusia punya otak ni mcm PC memory or hard disk ke kan...memang dah lama rosak yang tak boleh nak baik dah, memang corrupt terus disk, silap2 bole meletup ke, overheat sampai bikin short circuit ke, bagus kasi buang terus and beli baru jerr.

HAHAHA. Kadang-kadang diri sendiri pon tak tau nak respon ape dengan surrounding yang macam ni. Ingat jadi student medic je ke yang susah? Bak kata orang2 la.... Itu malin tak tau, since I'm not student medic pon. Tapi memang gerenti laa, siapa pon yang menghadapi tahun akhir pengajian tak kira course ape skali pon, akan menghadapi saat2 gila dan stress melampau sampai nak buat ape pon rasa tak bernafsu. I even think of not going home this cuti semester, cancelling my budgets for flight tickets and to my surprise I rented a motorcycle out of the blue, earlier this week for the sake of stress. So when I feel insecure, I could just roam to everywhere I feel safe and sound, usually library laaa. Hahaha.

Lagi satu, untuk mereka2 yang semacam ini, akan ada simptom2 tambahan lainnya, tak kisah laa, bergantung kepada individu. Macam malin ni paranoid dengan huruf "P"; as for it is used in many terms like,

• final year "P"roject...
• "P"roposal...
• slide "P"resentation...
• even one of my lecturer's name that started with "P"
  (Sorry Dr...>_<"). 

I even can't stand any terms or words that consists of obvious "P" sounds like:

• "P"o"P"ulation... 
  
• "P"regnant...
• "P"ulau "P"enyu...
• sakit "P"erut... 
  
• "P"rotection...
• tandas "P"erempuan...
• "P"e"P"si...
• "P"am"P"ers... 
  
• "P"oo"P"...

and so many more laaa... To the extent that I might scold my friends that used the words in front of me. If there's someone asked about anything related to "P", my gay mood will change for real and affected the whole-day- happy-me of that particular day. 

*Lol. I might change into a villain or in a serial killer mood if I want to describe* 

Once again, I'm sorry for my bad reflex reaction towards alphabet "P". It just happened lol. But this are not only the symptoms I have, there's still some more like sleep-talking, or not sleeping for 2 days in a row like zombie??... I might be sleep-walking too but fortunately, less sleep cause the chance of sleep-walking possibility to reduce and...yeah. Whatever. Haha. *facepalm*


Well I should stop for now. Goodbye. Assalamualaikum. I just don't know what are left for me to write now. Stuffy brain and congested. Meet you guys in another future post~~!! I need a short nap before I start doing my works again. *Sigh*

- Oh oh...by the way, I find this song kinda have its own meaning. Suddenly I'm attached to it. The lyrics might be just repeating lines but it suits my feeling since I like songs with such simple guitar play. Simple yet catchy song. I thought that's why people love The Beatles.

Black Bird - The Beatles

(Video source: Youtube.com)

Take A Break.

Assalamualaikum. Teehee.

It has been sooooooooo long since I last updated things on my blog. It's not that I left or whatsoever, I just can't find the right time to do blogwalking and you know..gaining some inspirations ahahahaha~ However, I seriously missed being around here...ranting bout random stuffs and spitting everything that I want here..well, almost everything... >_<

Hehe.

I'm in my last weeks of my 2nd year of study. It has been a long journey since the very first time I'm here. It feels short though. Next September, I'll be in my final year of my degree. Yeah. I'm growing up fast. And you guys too.

There's so much things happened to me this sem, I would never finish the story if I have to write 'em in here hahaha. I have not so much pictures of me and my crazy fellas this sem, since everyone is fucking busy~!! Haha..ooopps. By the way, I have some grand stories for me to tell you guys about, but not in this entry, and I'll try to moderately not exaggerating much and stay as humble as possible. What the. Haha.

Oh by the way, I'm still on my exam weeks. Just burned off two papers in a day and I'm gonna puke volcano magma and spit fire throughout all of my next exam papers. I'm gonna kill those sheeeeetss~!! Wish me luck guys...!!!

And to you guys that sit for final exam just like me, I wish you guys tonnes of good luck and all the best~!! See you guys so soooooon.....


Till then, goodbye first. Teehee.

 

Lol. Happened to me occasionally. Okay. Assalamualaikum.

Hey Hoooo. Hye Peeps!!

Ohhhhoooooi. Satu sem tak update entry blog. Sorry la kemalasan + kesibukan + kehilangan mood + assignment tahun 2 was like...no joke. Seriously, halfway crazy.

This one gonna be my seriously short entry. I'm on exam fever. Gonna be on the battlefield for this upcoming three weeks. Gonna fire everything and burn those exam sheets. I'm on fire~!! Hahaha.

Ok whatever. Wish you guys good luck for those who will be sitting for final exam for this semester.
And wish me and my colleagues the best of luck in our exam. Miss hanging out on blog, I promise that I'll update as soon as the exam finished. Haha. Can't wait to set free. I wanna go home.

Kedah, see you very soon. Sabah, I'm gonna have my break so goodbye soon.

*LOL. Tak sabaqnyaaaaaa*

It's Not My Fault ......... Or Was It? HAHA.

One fine morning, a sudden horrifying call from PPIB (Pusat Penataran Ilmu & Bahasa) department saying that I got a "warning letter" from my Japanese lecturer (whose name is Dennis, and we call him sensei.. XD) for 'NOT ATTENDING' the 22nd Nov 13 Japanese class...????????? (o.O)"

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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::>> which was not true at all. I insist.
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The phone call somehow more or less, started like this :

*phone vibrates in the pocket*

ME     : Hello?

PPIB  : Ini cik Nur Amalina Kamaruddin ke?

ME     : Ye saya...ada ape?

PPIB  : Saya dari pejabat PPIB, dekat sini saya ada surat amaran dari
           pensyarah cik yg menyatakan cik tak hadir ke kuliah Bahasa Jepun
           Tahap III pada 22 Nov...

ME     : Huh? O.o"

PPIB  : Ye cik. Nanti bole saya mintak cik ke pejabat PPIB untuk ambik surat
           amaran ni ye?

ME     : Tapi saya tak pernah ponteng kelas Jepun tuh...mesti ada silap.

PPIB  : *baca details n no matrik*

ME     : T______T" sigh...

PPIB  : Macam ni la cik, ini baru surat amaran pertama cik. Apa kata cik
           datang ke pejabat dulu ambik surat ni. Sila jumpa dengan Puan
           ***** ye untuk ambik surat tu. (aku tak ingat la nama puan tu..)
           Ok ye cik...

ME     : Errr. ok ok. T_____T"

* letak fon. haish. tak puas hati. *

This is not my first time actually. Sebelum ni pon dah kena panggil masuk bilik dean, but that one was not my fault. But this one....seems to give me lots of pressure since I was really there in the class and through that phone call, I was like..." Whuuuuut ?????? >_<"

Dah la tengah hari tuh, I'oll ada oral exam Jepun dengan sensei tu. Tak tenang jiwa tambah dengan ketaq nak oral pon tak habeh lagi.

Ottoke =..=" ???

--> "For as long as I could remember, I never skip any of my Japanese classes for this sem... I must be crazy if I skip the class.."

 
Lalu kerunsingan jiwa aku tuh di lihat oleh seorang member course aku, dia pon tanya la. Aku dengan muka dramatik and konon mcm trauma cakap, aku dapat warning letter yg aku ponteng kelas Jepun time 22hb Nov ari tuh. Lepas tuh, kitorang pon mcm mengong jap.

Masing2 tengok muka masing2 macam hape tah. haha.

Krik krik krik.

Member aku cakap, "Macam mana ko bole dapat kol PPIB cakap ko tak datang kelas, sedangkan aku rasa la, kalau aku pegi kelas pon kau ada sekali kan? Patotnya kalo ko ponteng pon, mesti la dengan aku2 sekali dapat surat amaran...sebab aku yakin setiap kali kelas kita tiga orang mesti duduk sekali..."
Aku pon iyakan la. Betul jugak. Kitorang bertiga memang duduk sekali. (Ada sorang lagi member course aku yang amek Jepun mcm kitorang jugak.)

"Mungkin agaknya...ko ni tak sign attendance sheet kot ari tu..."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa begitu kot. Mungkin. Haesh. =..="

Aku yg terpempan sendiri ni mcm tak fokus dah. Kurang dari 2 jam lagi nak oral test. Kitorang time tuh baru habes kelas Marine Ecology dgn Mr Ali. Tengah melepak study kat SST (konon la...XD)

Dalam bingung2 tak percaya tuh, aku mintak dia teman aku nanti pegi pejabat PPIB ambik surat tuh. Dia cakap, " kita pegi amek sekarang la. Nanti kita bole terus pegi office dia and before start oral nih, ko bole pegi tanya dia terus apesal yg ko dapat surat amaran tuh. Ko tunjuk la bukti yang ko ada kat kelas hari tuh... :D "
Aku macam tak nak mula2 sebab trauma kan, tapi last2 kitorang pegi jugak PPIB time tuh. T__T"

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Dah ke pejabat PPIB, kitorang menapak ke office sensei plak.Time tuh tinggal sejam lagi before oral test start.

*ketuk pintu. bukak. bismillahirrahmanirrahim.*

ME       : Hey sensei... :)

SENSEI : *smiling* Hey, come in. What's your problem?

ME       : Em, sensei...I wonder why did I got a call from PPIB department just
             now, saying that I got a warning letter from you because I didn't
             attend your class on 22nd Nov?

SENSEI : *muka pelik* Wait. What's your name? Amalina right?

ME       : Yes, I'm from the Friday class.

SENSEI : *checked through the attendance list. pouting. then he showed me
               the list. stared to my face. pen dekat mulut.*

ME       : *tengok attendance. tepuk dahi. aduh. sah la memang tak sign pon.*

SENSEI : Where were you that day? You're not in my class??? *staring in
             disbelieve. his blue eyes. cantik pulak =3*

ME       : I was there sensei...*sambil tunjuk buku Jepun chapter 11 yg aku
             conteng dgn notes tambahan time kelas dia.* I guessssss...I missed
             the attendance sheet during the class. T__T"

SENSEI : Aaaaa...I see. I knew you were there. I don't think you've ever
             skipped my lesson, weren't you? You just sometimes shifted from
             Friday to another day because you couldn't make it on Friday. I know
             you're being so diligent, and...bla bla bla bla (panjang sket dia
             cakap..tak tangkap. haha~) And you did even came twice to my last
             lecture, last week. I noticed that because you've been so excellent
             when I asked, all of the sudden...something that makes me a little
             suspicious...*he laughed* XD

ME       : *embarassed. giggling. but proud. haha~*

 
ME       : Sensei, would I be banned from taking final exam? *exaggerating
             XD*

SENSEI : Oh..no no. You wouldn't for real. It's just the first warning letter
             anyway. Don't take it seriously...

ME       : But, that gives me a bad record already...T___T"

SENSEI : Naaaaa...that's nothing. I won't deduct anything from your
             performance marks anyway. I knew you're there..It's just you forgot
             to sign the attendance sheet. Just ignore the warning letter. It's not
             that serious.. Ignore the letter and live your life as usual... I've to
             send the warning letter to the office since it's my job, or the Dean
             will ask me why my students didn't show up without the MC
             or any exception letter. I didn't realize that your name was there
             since I've so many students. So, forgive my ignorance yaa.
             *also making his funny type of face. Undescribable. But funny..his
             students know how funny he is..*

ME       : NO NO sensei. It's my fault for not being alert with the attendance.
             I'm sorry. *feeling sorry. really. sorry sensei. I'm not even mad.*

ME       : Emmm...then about the letter from the person who called me this
             morning, should I really go n take the letter and do something bout
             it?

SENSEI : No no. Just ignore her. *buat muka kerut cute. pouting mouth.
             priceles XD. then he adviced me on my previous midtest marks and
             keep encouraging me to improve more during my final exam later. he
             said, that I can do much better than and it really lifted me up!!*

SENSEI : Amalina-san, if you encounter any problem in your study just before
             your final, just come and meet me here. I'll be here during the
             weekdays, ok. *senyum. mata biru sensei cantik la. awww.*

ME       : Ok then. Err...thanks a lot sensei.. :D *happy*

SENSEI : Ok. And good luck to you, your oral test is this afternoon yaa... :D

ME       : Yes sensei.. *T___T" OMG. adhuuuuyai...*

* senyum paksa. keluar bilik. pheeeuw lega =..=*

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--> Macam ni la lebih kurang watashi sembang ngan sensei semalam nih.

Anyway, lega rasa sensei tak deduct markah since kecuaian aku yg tak dapat dinafikan tuh. Padan la muka malin. Lain kali lupa lagi sign attendance. haha.

Bukan hape...I did attend the class and kinda flabbergasted to get such a horrifying call in the morning before my Japanese oral test. =..="
Rasa macam kena karen pon ade.

--> "Oh, how stupid la yang aku bole lupa nak sign attendance. T____T"
     *tepuk dahi tepuk dahi tepuk dahi*

Oh thank you so much la sensei. Dah la baik, walaupon tegas tapi sensei ni bagi aku sopan dan memahami. Dan sangat la charming. Dan mata biru...XD Dia tak hensem mana tapi manis kalau usha dia senyum. haha~ He's a perfect type of lecturer that I really adore and really looking forward to go to his class. Tak sia2 kalau pegi kelas dia hari2 pon belajar benda yg sama. Sebab he knows how to entertain his students.

Dari tak suka bahasa Jepun, jadik minat pulak. Pernah jugak macam angau sat

See how much positiveness that he has brought upon me. I never slept in his class, tak mcm time sem 1. Kelas Jepun adalah port aku untuk tidur setiap minggu. haha~ And, I did study (kadang2 tak jugak pon. hihi..) before went to his class, bukan sebab takot or terpaksa, tapi sebab dia suka tanya random kat student dia, so kita akan aware dan malu kalau salah jawab. haha~ Dan dia dah sebabkan aku berusaha keras nak score exam Jepun. Berbanding Sem 1, gred aku tersangat la teruknya n masuk sem 2, giler banyak berubah peningkatannya. Dari gred D(=..=)"kantoiiii* sem 1, Sem 2 naik pi gred B+(^_^)* ehem2*. Kira ok la walau tak dapat A pon, sebab yg nih pon dah kira membanggakan la bagi aku yg konon tak cerdik Jepun time sem 1...
(bole terima anugerah peningkatan prestasi weyh kalau kat sekolah...)

Dari buta huruf Jepun n tergagap2 baca hiragana n katakana, sem 2 aku banyak gila la improve. Express, macam Shikansen (sejenis komuter ke, kereta api laju kat Jepun tuh..) Huh...sekarang nih dah kira penghujung sem 3, dah lebih kurang 2 sem aku bahagia belajar Jepun. Tapi kelas Jepun dah habes minggu lepas, lepas nih tinggal final exam je...huhu. And there would be no more Japanese class next sem. T____T"

I miss being in his class already. He's such a good sensei. Thank God for that. Walaupon pada mulanya aku sangat anti kelas Jepun and terkejut dugong lagi bila tau time sem 2, sensei kitorang adalah bukan sensei Jepun yg kitorang harap2kan. Sensei Dennis tuh Dutch, orang Netherlands lagi, so aku bajet memang mampus habis la aku time sem 2 tuh. Tapi sangkaan aku memang jauh nor tersasar. Dari first class, aku dah terpegun dengan how good he attracted my attention to every words he said. Balik dari kelas kan rasa macam best ooooo. Selalu mood aku akan rosak habes after kelas Jepun. haha.

Hmm..I'll cherish every moment being in his classes. Sensei...thank you. You're such a wonderful person in my eyes. teehee~ :D

Eh jap...nah, nak tunjuk sket my sensei tuh.. tadaaa !!

Haaaaa. Ni la my sensei.. Eh?
Ok ok. Joking. Ini my ex-boyfriend, EHHHH????
*dush dush XD*

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Ok this is the right one...
Ini la Mr Dennis Dave Zomerhuis, kitorang punya
lecturer Jepun yang yg berasal dari Netherlands.
Sorry sensei..I sneak peak this photo while you
were teaching. I know you hate phone in class but
I need some memories. teehee~

Ok. dah dah. dah banyak nor nih aku mengarut. kesian korang. Sorry la kalau terbaca panjang2 nih. Aku memang suka luah perasaan kat sini. Sebab tuh la aku punya motto blog pon. Anything, everything that crossed my mind, I'll spit them out here. XD 

Thanks for reading. Maaf jugak untuk entry yang penuh perasaan nih. Sekian dulu. Babai peeps of the world !!