Mixed Emo.

Have you ever feel like sometimes being hit by a car and die is better than to live on? Have you ever feel soulless...cramped inside your heart that you just wanna do nothing but hugging your knees and cry your soul out? Have you ever feel that sadness and darkness along with emptiness filling up your thoughts and mind...affecting every human senses that you possess?  Have you ever know that feeling?

Or you just don't want to care much and still live on like ghoul. Empty, restless, lingering and stuck somewhere unexplained, numb without vivid direction?

Oh oh. Saje nak intro emo...masuk feel. Teehee. 

*Mintak slipper Jepun ke pipi ke Malin? hukhuk...*

Biasa la kan emo time-time tahun akhir pengajian ni. Lagi pulak si Malin ni. Hoho. Tapi kan seriously, I felt that way recently...there's time that I feel like everything is just mocking me... my shadow followed me everywhere but could do nothing to help me and I always be the one that stuck somewhere and yet to come out....Drowning in tears like almost every time I took my shower, restless incomplete feeling in every sleep at night, forgot to eat on time and end up eating junks at 3 am in the morning. Well, that's basically happened to me lately.

Cerita dia bila satu masalah settle, tapi masalah lain beranak pinak macam virus. Agaknya kalau manusia punya otak ni mcm PC memory or hard disk ke kan...memang dah lama rosak yang tak boleh nak baik dah, memang corrupt terus disk, silap2 bole meletup ke, overheat sampai bikin short circuit ke, bagus kasi buang terus and beli baru jerr.

HAHAHA. Kadang-kadang diri sendiri pon tak tau nak respon ape dengan surrounding yang macam ni. Ingat jadi student medic je ke yang susah? Bak kata orang2 la.... Itu malin tak tau, since I'm not student medic pon. Tapi memang gerenti laa, siapa pon yang menghadapi tahun akhir pengajian tak kira course ape skali pon, akan menghadapi saat2 gila dan stress melampau sampai nak buat ape pon rasa tak bernafsu. I even think of not going home this cuti semester, cancelling my budgets for flight tickets and to my surprise I rented a motorcycle out of the blue, earlier this week for the sake of stress. So when I feel insecure, I could just roam to everywhere I feel safe and sound, usually library laaa. Hahaha.

Lagi satu, untuk mereka2 yang semacam ini, akan ada simptom2 tambahan lainnya, tak kisah laa, bergantung kepada individu. Macam malin ni paranoid dengan huruf "P"; as for it is used in many terms like,

• final year "P"roject...
• "P"roposal...
• slide "P"resentation...
• even one of my lecturer's name that started with "P"
  (Sorry Dr...>_<"). 

I even can't stand any terms or words that consists of obvious "P" sounds like:

• "P"o"P"ulation... 
  
• "P"regnant...
• "P"ulau "P"enyu...
• sakit "P"erut... 
  
• "P"rotection...
• tandas "P"erempuan...
• "P"e"P"si...
• "P"am"P"ers... 
  
• "P"oo"P"...

and so many more laaa... To the extent that I might scold my friends that used the words in front of me. If there's someone asked about anything related to "P", my gay mood will change for real and affected the whole-day- happy-me of that particular day. 

*Lol. I might change into a villain or in a serial killer mood if I want to describe* 

Once again, I'm sorry for my bad reflex reaction towards alphabet "P". It just happened lol. But this are not only the symptoms I have, there's still some more like sleep-talking, or not sleeping for 2 days in a row like zombie??... I might be sleep-walking too but fortunately, less sleep cause the chance of sleep-walking possibility to reduce and...yeah. Whatever. Haha. *facepalm*


Well I should stop for now. Goodbye. Assalamualaikum. I just don't know what are left for me to write now. Stuffy brain and congested. Meet you guys in another future post~~!! I need a short nap before I start doing my works again. *Sigh*

- Oh oh...by the way, I find this song kinda have its own meaning. Suddenly I'm attached to it. The lyrics might be just repeating lines but it suits my feeling since I like songs with such simple guitar play. Simple yet catchy song. I thought that's why people love The Beatles.

Black Bird - The Beatles

(Video source: Youtube.com)